Best One Line Jokes

More Short Jokes
More Short Jokes

The best one line jokes offer a quick dose of humor. Timing is everything when you tell short jokes, whether you're at a party or just having a casual conversation wth a friend. With no room for a lengthy set-up, the pressure is on to get a laugh with just a few words. Fortunately, these 12 jokes deliver. Just be sure that you don't lose your train of thought while speaking and be sure to hit the puchline!

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the opossum that it could be done.

We've certainly heard the original enough that it's lost a bit of its charm. However, it's familiar enough to lead to inspired twists on the old theme, such as this joke.

2. Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

While most people won't laugh at the prospect of crime, the pun based on the similarity in sound of "a salted" and "assaulted" makes this an unexpectedly clever joke.

3. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

This joke appeals to people because of the connection between its first and second halves. The person telling the joke obviously falls into the latter category.

4. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

As serious as the issue of religion in schools can be, this one line joke can put the issue in perspective.

5. The word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary.

Among the best one line jokes, this one is unique for actually playing a joke on listeners. If they believe this statement, they really are gullible.

6. How does a pig go to the hospital?
In a hambulance.

It's a bit corny, but the connection between "ham" and "pig" is sure to evoke a giggle.

7. What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?
OK you two - don't start anything.

The double meaning of "don't start anything" provides the humor in this joke. While a bartender would usually mean it as, "don't start any trouble," jumper cables are known for starting cars and other vehicles.

8. What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?
Sleep somewhere else.

The humor of this joke comes from the obviousness of the answer, so you laugh when you hear the unexpected.

9. What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH

This is another joke where you laugh because of the obvious yet unexpected answer. The similar sound of "eye" and "I" adds to the humor.

10. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

This is a popular joke because the answer walks the line between being completely clean and slightly naughty.

11. Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

The oddities of the English language provide some of the best one line jokes. Similar jokes include, "Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"

12. What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks

Like many jokes, this one hinges on the similar sound between two words, "rex" and "wrecks", giving new meaning to a common name.

Best One Line Jokes