Best Halloween Jokes for Ghostly Hilarity

Updated September 7, 2021
Halloween scary pumpkin with flowers on top

Celebrate your holiday with a few ghoulishly funny jokes for Halloween to make your family or friends chuckle. From corny Halloween dad jokes to Halloween puns, you can find a little bit of everything to have a haunting good time. Get ready to tickle your funny bone!

Corny Halloween Jokes for a Chuckle

witch walking into the light in the forest

Who doesn't love a corny joke! Add to it vampires, zombies, and witches, and you have a pocket full of hilarity. Have a fang-tastic good time with these Halloween funnies.

  • Why did the children avoid the vampire's house? He was batty.
  • What's a vampire's favorite moon? A blood moon.
  • How did the ghost find the direction to the party? Ghoul-gle
  • Why did the ghost cross the road? Nobody could hit him.
  • How does Scarecrow style his hair? Scare spray
  • Why did the witch fall in love with her broom? It swept her off her feet.
  • What do you call a vampire's USB? A blood drive.
  • Why did the mummy go to therapy? His brain was unraveling.
  • Why were the zombie musicians mad at the drummer? He rattled their bones.
  • Why was the witch disappointed in school? She spelled wrong.
  • Why did the witches cancel their ball game? They couldn't find the bats!
  • Why do ghosts make lousy friends? They are too transparent.

Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

Have you heard a good knock, knock joke lately? Add a creative twist to your knock, knock, joke exploration through a Halloweenie punchline. Give these Halloween jokes a try on your friends.

  • Knock, Knock.
    Who's there?
    Lettuce.
    Lettuce who.
    Lettuce go trick or treating.
  • Knock, Knock!
    Who's there?
    Orange!
    Orange who?
    Orange you gonna give me Halloween candy.
  • Knock, Knock!
    Who's there?
    Olive!
    Olive who?
    Olive your Halloween costume.
  • Knock, Knock!
    Who's there?
    Witch.
    Witch who?
    Witch way is the Halloween party.
  • Knock, Knock!
    Who's there?
    Wanda.
    Wanda who?
    Wanda wear a zombie costume for Halloween.
  • Knock, Knock.
    Who's there?
    Anita.
    Anita who.
    Anita get a pirate costume.
  • Knock, Knock.
    Who's there?
    Canoe.
    Canoe who.
    Canoe give us some Halloween candy.

Halloween Dad Jokes to Get Him Laughing

Ghost joke

You can find a never-ending list of dad jokes all over the net. While these Halloween dad jokes are cornier than candy corn, they are guaranteed to make you laugh.

  • On what street do Zombies always live? A dead-end.
  • Why did the ghosts run off stage? Everyone was booing.
  • Why didn't the jack-o'-lantern go trick or treating? He didn't have the guts.
  • Why was the phantom mad her boyfriend didn't text back? She got ghosted.
  • Why does a cemetery make a great movie? The plots are amazing.
  • What kind of makeup does a ghost use? Vanishing cream.
  • Why can't the ghost get married? No-body would be there.
  • What sport does a Halloween pumpkin play? Squash.
  • Why did the troll cross the bridge? Because it was his.

Trick or Treat Halloween Jokes

Halloween isn't all about the thrills and chills of the season. It's about the candy too. Add the funny to trick-or-treating with a good joke. It's sure to lift your spirits!

  • Why do we yell "trick-or-treat" on Halloween? Because it would sound strange at Christmas.
  • What do you call an agreement on Halloween? A trick or treaty.
  • Who dances while trick or treating? The boogeyman.
  • Why can't the mummy go trick or treating? They are all wrapped up.
  • Why don't hockey players want a treat on Halloween? They'd rather have a hat trick.
  • Who did Frankenstein take out trick or treating? His ghoul friend.
  • What's a vampire's favorite Halloween treat? Suckers.
  • Why does Michael Jackson love Halloween? It's a thriller.
  • What do little vampires say after you give them Halloween candy? Fangs for the candy.
  • What should you give a mummy during trick or treating? Lifesavers.
  • What did the actress do on Halloween? Trick or tweet.

Hilarious Halloween Jokes for Kids

Kids aren't too cute to spook. So, you can't have Halloween jokes without including the kiddos into the mix. Just remember, for kids, you need to creep it real!

  • What did the ghost mom say to the baby on Halloween? You've got this, boo.
  • What does the ghost eat for breakfast? Booberries.
  • Why did the vampires avoid the witch at school? She's catty.
  • Why don't the vampires like Halloween? They're all about Fangs-giving.
  • Where do ghosts swim? The Dead Sea.
  • Why did the skeleton's brother make him cry? He called him a bonehead.
  • Why does the skeleton study? He bone's up on the facts.
  • Why can't the jack-o'-lantern sit in the dark? He's gutless.
  • Why was the egg behaving badly? He was deviled.
  • What instrument does a skeleton play? The trom-bone

Punny Halloween Jokes for Laughs

Punny Halloween Joke

Now, these scare-tastic puns can get pretty punny! So make sure to quit reading if you don't have the guts. There are no bones about it!

  • You are definitely the Mummy of the Year!
  • Oh, my gourd! That was a huge pumpkin.
  • Now that's some witchful thinking.
  • Why didn't she like vampires? They are a pain in the neck.
  • What did the vampire say to the trick or treaters? Have a fang-tastic Halloween.
  • All a ghoul wants is demons and gold.
  • What do you serve at a Halloween cookout? Roasted Halloweenies!
  • Why can't you upset a mummy? He'll totally unravel.
  • Who throws the best Halloween parties? The ghostess with the mostest!
  • What do you serve beer in at a Halloween party? A Frankenstein.

Halloween Jokes for a Laughing Ghoul Time

Don't be such a deadhead in the stone orchard! Try a few gossamer gags at your Halloween gathering. For a parting tip, print a joke on each placemat for guests to read at your monster bash.

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Best Halloween Jokes for Ghostly Hilarity