Recently, a scary encounter when I was out for a run on a public street in broad daylight showed me just how vulnerable I actually am when I walk or run alone. I was lucky to be okay, and I went home, caught my breath, and immediately signed up for a 4-week self-defense class. I attended a class back in the 80s, but that was a long time ago, and I definitely needed a refresher. And while some of the old standbys never go out of style, a lot has changed in the last 40+ years. These were some of my key takeaways.
Bad Guys Are Looking for Fast & Easy
One of the first things our instructors told us is that there are two things a bad guy wants (aside from things like your body, your life, or your stuff). They want a target that's going to be easy to take down, and they want to do it quickly so they don't get caught. So your very first line of defense is to make yourself appear to not be a fast or easy target. This includes the old standbys like walking with purpose, appearing alert and attentive, staying in public places, and avoiding situations where it might be easier to grab you.
Quick Tip
Not sure if you appear to be an easy target? Put yourself in a predator's mindset and watch people. Who feels like an easy target? Why? Is it posture? Do they seem inattentive or hesitant? Identify these things and then check for them in yourself.
Turn and Face the Danger
The stealthiest way for someone to come up on you is from behind. So if you even suspect there's danger behind you, turn around immediately and face it head-on. You can't fight something that's behind you, so it's difficult to protect yourself (don't believe me? Try punching something back behind you. It's hard to put much force into it). Sometimes, just the act of turning around and looking someone in the eye is enough to avert the danger. I'd rather turn around quickly and look a little silly when nothing is there than to let someone sneak up on me.
But if they do grab you from behind, turn around as quickly as you can — even if they're hanging onto your hair or hood or something else. The only way you'll be able to fight for your life is if you're facing the person who is attacking you.
Awareness Is Key
On the day of my scary running incident, I was wearing earbuds. And while that keeps me entertained and motivated while I run, it also keeps me unaware of my surroundings, which makes me an easier target. So, it turns out, earbuds and headphones are out. But so is looking at your phone, woolgathering while you move, or various other inattentive behaviors that tune out your surroundings.
If you're not aware of what's around you, chances are that to a predator, you'll look like you're inattentive, which makes you an easy target. You may not notice someone coming up alongside you or behind you, and that lack of awareness could be the difference between having an incident and avoiding one.
Helpful Hack
Our instructor says that if you do become aware of someone who seems predatory, you should look directly at them to let them know you're aware they're there. This could be enough to prevent an attack because acknowledging them lets them know you're not going to be fast or easy.
Listen to Your Gut
You have instincts for a reason. If your spidey sense is telling you you're unsafe, listen to it. Better to hightail it out of a situation that isn't actually dangerous than to ignore your instincts and wind up in one that is. If someone feels creepy or your alarms are going off, reverse direction, cross the street, or go somewhere that's around other people immediately Trust your gut and act on it.
Your Best Bet Is to Avoid a Fight
You'll survive 100% of the fights you don't have, but you may not survive a situation where you actually have to fight for your life. So take every measure to avoid unsafe situations or get out of them, but be prepared to put up the fight of your life if you have to.
But if You Have to Fight, Fight Hard
And if you do wind up having to fight for your life? Use every tool available to you to put up a fight. There are all kinds of self-defense techniques you can learn and use that will improve your chances of getting out of a situation alive. Whether you take a class, watch them on TikTok, or learn another way, practice these moves as if your life depends on it, because it just might.
Don't Give Them Anything to Grab Onto
It's a lot easier for a predator to grab onto something that's hanging from your body than to grab you. I used to run with my hair in a ponytail, but that's too easy to grab as it flaps behind me, so I started wearing it in a tight topknot when I run. Hoods are easy to grab, as is loose clothing. Keep everything tight to your body, and you'll prove a much more difficult target.
Use Your Voice
If you feel unsafe, use your voice, and speak confidently. Use short, loud commands or questions like, "Who are you?" or "Are you following me?", or "Back off!" as you turn and face any threat. Let them know you'll be loud before they get close enough to you to actually touch you. If you yell at an innocent person? Better embarrassed and wrong than finding yourself the target of a predator.
Don't Assume a Weapon Will Keep You Safe
Weapons can give you a false sense of confidence, and they can be just as easily turned against you or taken away as they can protect you. You still need to practice other self-defense techniques because prevention is the best weapon of all. If you do carry a weapon of some type, make sure it's somewhere you can get to it immediately, as attacks can happen in the blink of an eye (it takes a long time to grab something from your pocket or purse). Make sure you know everything about using that weapon and are comfortable with using it. Practicing pulling it out and using it is essential.
Distance Can Keep You Safe
In personal safety situations, having distance between you and a potential predator always gives you more options. You have more time to react or run away if they attack. Whenever possible, keep a potential predator at a distance by facing them and using your voice. If they continue into your personal space, chances are you'll need to fight. If someone is trying to steal something from you, don't let them into your personal space. Give them what they're asking for by dropping it on the ground away from you. This can buy you time to get into a better position.
The Eyes Are Everyone's Weak Spot
Ever been poked in the eye? Nobody's eyes are immune to poking, and it can stop them in their tracks. If you must fight to protect yourself, go for the eyes if you can.
You're Worth Fighting For
You matter. Your life matters. Your safety matters. Hopefully, you'll never find yourself in a situation where you need to protect yourself, but if you do, fight. Fight like you're protecting your child or somebody you love. Don't be a quick and easy target. You have people who love you and need you alive and well. Taking steps to make yourself safer is an act of love for them — and for yourself.
